Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
