no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
third nipple confirmed
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
