I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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