i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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