Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
