textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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