i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize