I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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