Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
