the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
