I feel great
I just peed on a car
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
