so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
