how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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