Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
