I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
