I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize