I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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