sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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