I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
