she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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