she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
