I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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