She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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