Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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