just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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