your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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