i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
