Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
