No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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