Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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