actually, I'm a sock model
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
