Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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