11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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