A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
