My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
