He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize