it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
