This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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