I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize