no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
