In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
