There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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