He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
