@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He is an equal opportunity slut.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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