fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
