Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
