No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
