You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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