i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
