is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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