put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize