The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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