I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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