It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
