My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
