I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
