Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
