Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
