she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
