I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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