People in love make me want to vomit
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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