Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
soo... how was my night?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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