we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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