clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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