You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm at about main and main street
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
