my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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